I once watched a movie that, in all fairness, didn’t really impress me much.

That seems to be a very strange way to begin a post, but there is a reason I have referenced this movie often, in group therapy sessions, individual therapy sessions, discussions with friends, and now here, with you. While I wouldn’t particularly want to watch the movie again, one conversation between the main characters made an impact.

One character asked, seemingly discouraged, “Have you ever just looked around and wondered how in the world you got here?”

I think we’ve all been in circumstances where it is tempting to ask such a question. Life rarely flows exactly the way we expect it to as our younger, doe-eyed selves looking forward. At least, not from what I’ve seen.

Back to the movie. The response is what I loved.

“No. I ask myself, ‘where am I going, and how am I going to get there?'”

If the character had been holding a mic, he could have dropped it.

Have you been asking yourself how in the world you got to this point? How you have arrived in the midst of the relationship struggles, the anxieties, the insecurities… the lack of progress or the battle scars from fighting as hard as you could just to keep moving forward?

Just stop. It doesn’t matter. The experience matters, of course, because it is all part of what has developed you into who you are now, but generally when we ask, “how in the world did I get here? It’s not really a way of reflecting on character growth, but, instead, an overwhelming feeling of despair and frustration.

Dwelling on despair will never get you where you want to be. You must find your direction.

Life is full of waterfalls. When you’re rowing along and the bottom unexpectedly drops out from under you. Maybe you see it coming and you paddle as hard as you can in an attempt to avoid the inevitable…. or maybe you’re busy enjoying the beauty around you and aren’t paying attention to what’s ahead. Either way, it happens. It can be devastating. The death of a loved one. Failed dreams. Pregnancy/infant loss or infertility. The loss of a job. A debilitating injury. A medical crisis. There are many, many waterfalls, and they can be disorienting.

Where are you going, and how are you going to get there?

At some point, you have to:

• Stop to take a breath
• Acknowledge how you feel and what you think about it
• Accept the fact that it did, in fact, happen and that you can’t change it, and
• Buckle down and decide what you are going to do with what you just experienced

The river keeps flowing after the waterfall. Life doesn’t stop just because our world goes into a tailspin for a while- as difficult as that can be to acknowledge and accept (believe me, I’ve been there).

Where are you going, and how are you going to get there?

I’m here to help you pick yourself up, grab your oars, and get back in that boat.

How has life derailed you? Where did you expect to be and what did you expect to be doing by now? Join us in the Every Day Incredible Ladies facebook group to discuss!