I was recently reading an excerpt from Dr. Dobson’s book, The New Strong-Willed Child. As he gave the analogy of pushing a shopping cart that glides smoothly along versus pushing a shopping cart with a bent wheel that requires constant redirection effort, I could immediately relate. Even now, as I write, I am watching my oldest son eat his spaghetti and meatballs (very messily, might I add… but hey, he’s a kid. I don’t expect him to be neat!). I know odds are when he’s done, he’ll either sling food in the floor or throw his messy fork in the floor. Because he does that every time. I address it every time. He’ll probably be upset when he has a consequence because he typically is. But… he keeps doing it.
For about 7 years, I was in a position where I taught parenting classes and did in-home therapy, most often for families of children with behavioral problems. As I worked to help family after family, I did a lot of research. I learned from experience and trainings about many useful, effective techniques. I know they work. I’ve seen them work, and work well! They work in general for my little strong-willed fella too, but he still has some areas that require constant redirection. Like a shopping cart with a bent wheel.
(And….. there went food in the floor)
As I watch my children grow, I have learned that any time I feel “stuck” as a parent, I can ask God to reveal to me more clearly how He “parents” us.
Most often, His answer is simply, “I love you anyway.” He gives us boundaries, He is consistent, and He is firm. Above all, though, He is loving.
So, I will continue to pray that God gives me what I need when I need it so I can be the best (though human) parent I can be. I will continue to be firm and consistent as part of showing my children that I love them. No matter how many times I’m being told I’m mean.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for putting up with our temper tantrums and strong-willed attitudes. Thank you for your patience while we kick and scream in the toy aisle. Thank you for redirecting, even when our “wheels” seem to be bent. Father, please give us the peace we need in order to be patient and loving while we respond in our frustration. Help us to parent our children as you parent us; with love, firmness, patience, understanding, and wisdom. Help us to strive daily to be more like you.
Your humbled child, Amen.
