Boundaries Vs. Ultimatums

Boundaries can be tough to achieve, right? If you have others in your life who leave you feeling manipulated or “bull-dozed,” sometimes that can be a result of not having effective and healthy boundaries in place.

In discussing boundaries with clients over the years, I’ve often referred to a “Personal Bill of Rights,” which basically outlines the basic, human rights we assume all people have. I’ve seen several variations of this list, but it all boils down to respect. Respect yourself as you respect others. Respect others as you respect yourself. Probably the best way to explain is that boundaries are set for a person to protect herself. Ultimatums are set as an attempt to somehow control the other person’s behavior.

Boundaries are set for a person to protect herself. Ultimatums are set as an attempt to somehow control the other person’s behavior.

As you are thinking about the boundaries you have set, think about what you really need in order to keep yourself healthy.

Be watching for more information on the blog for more information about what happens when healthy boundaries are not set!

In the meantime, check out this post at Psychology Today for more tips on setting healthy boundaries:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201511/7-tips-create-healthy-boundaries-others

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