It’s No Secret…

This week, I had someone comment on my postpartum weight loss and ask me, “how did you do it?”For me, there’s no secret – when I was pregnant, I couldn’t eat much of anything without throwing up. Not a recommended weight loss method at all. However, it reminded me of a post I’d written as a contributor for another blog a few years ago, called Elevate Your Marriage. While I hesitate to share something I’ve shared elsewhere, I’d like to share this post with you here.THE SECRET TO WEIGHT LOSS…

For the past 6 weeks or so, I’ve been making an effort to be healthier. Walking more, eating less, drinking more water… the standard method. It seems to never fail that when others notice any kind of weight loss, the same question is uttered.

It’s usually almost said in a hushed tone, as if preparing to take in some monumental secret for a magical solution to taking off those extra pounds. The speaker may lean in and turn an ear more in your direction, just to make sure they don’t miss anything.

“How are you doing it?”

Is there a secret to it? Exercise. Watch what you eat. Drink plenty of water. Repeat tomorrow.

As I drove home from work today, I thought of my work as a therapist. I’ve worked with so many families who are dealing with their children’s behavioral problems, or with the aftermath of years of abuse, or even just years of poor communication that have wreaked havoc on a marriage.

When we begin to “let things slide,” problems pile up. When you decide to give in to your child’s demanding tone, rewarding the behavior, you’ll see it again. When you begin to take the elevator when you know you need to take the stairs, you’re more likely to do it again next time. When you allow hurt feelings to fester and avoid discussing an incident with your spouse, the bitterness and resentment will grow. If you tell yourself, “oh, I’ll clean up that mess tomorrow,” you may find yourself soon overwhelmed by the chaos around you.

I know all too well that sometimes life seems to beat us up and get us down. We all feel exhausted from time to time. We all need a vacation sometimes. It’s easy to get bored with the routine.

Look around you. What are you letting slide?

Do you need to have a good, long, heart to heart talk with your spouse or children? Do you need to start addressing your child’s unacceptable behavior? Do you need to start counting calories and getting more exercise? Do you need to regain control over the clutter in your home? Do you need to start saving for your retirement?

Here’s the big secret to getting it ALL done…

Ready for it?

There is no secret.

You didn’t arrive where you are now in just one day

 

It takes hard work. You didn’t arrive where you are now in just one day, and you’re not likely to be where you want to be in just one day either. It takes time and work. Break it down into manageable tasks and dig in. You can’t fund a retirement plan in one day, but you can skip the meal out and tuck that money away. You may not be able to clean the whole house in that hour you have, but maybe you can tackle one corner of the living room, or that sink full of dishes. You’re not going to lose all the extra pounds in one week, but you can lose a pound or two and still be healthy. You’re not likely to repair all the hurts in your marriage in one conversation or have a miracle 30 minute transformation of your child’s behavior, but you have to start somewhere.

There is no quick fix. It all takes work; but if you’re willing… oh, what a change you could have.

Philippians 4:13
New International Version (NIV)
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

 

What change is God asking you to make?

If you would like some more personalized support as you work to balance your life through diving in to a wellness plan, check out the “take the next step” tab here at everydayincredible.net. Check back next week for more thoughts on finding Christ-centered life balance. What areas of life do you find are most difficult to balance? I look forward to hearing from you in the groups and want you to remember that every day is full of opportunities, so make every day incredible!

How did I get here?

 

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I once watched a movie that, in all fairness, didn’t really impress me much.

That seems to be a very strange way to begin a post, but there is a reason I have referenced this movie often, in group therapy sessions, individual therapy sessions, discussions with friends, and now here, with you. While I wouldn’t particularly want to watch the movie again, one conversation between the main characters made an impact.

One character asked, seemingly discouraged, “Have you ever just looked around and wondered how in the world you got here?”

I think we’ve all been in circumstances where it is tempting to ask such a question. Life rarely flows exactly the way we expect it to as our younger, doe-eyed selves looking forward. At least, not from what I’ve seen.

Back to the movie. The response is what I loved.

“No. I ask myself, ‘where am I going, and how am I going to get there?'”

If the character had been holding a mic, he could have dropped it.

Have you been asking yourself how in the world you got to this point? How you have arrived in the midst of the relationship struggles, the anxieties, the insecurities… the lack of progress or the battle scars from fighting as hard as you could just to keep moving forward?

Just stop. It doesn’t matter. The experience matters, of course, because it is all part of what has developed you into who you are now, but generally when we ask, “how in the world did I get here? It’s not really a way of reflecting on character growth, but, instead, an overwhelming feeling of despair and frustration.

Dwelling on despair will never get you where you want to be. You must find your direction.

Life is full of waterfalls. When you’re rowing along and the bottom unexpectedly drops out from under you. Maybe you see it coming and you paddle as hard as you can in an attempt to avoid the inevitable…. or maybe you’re busy enjoying the beauty around you and aren’t paying attention to what’s ahead. Either way, it happens. It can be devastating. The death of a loved one. Failed dreams. Pregnancy/infant loss or infertility. The loss of a job. A debilitating injury. A medical crisis. There are many, many waterfalls, and they can be disorienting.

Where are you going, and how are you going to get there?

At some point, you have to:

  • Stop to take a breath
  • Acknowledge how you feel and what you think about it
  • Accept the fact that it did, in fact, happen and that you can’t change it, and
  • Buckle down and decide what you are going to do with what you just experienced

The river keeps flowing after the waterfall. Life doesn’t stop just because our world goes into a tailspin for a while- as difficult as that can be to acknowledge and accept (believe me, I’ve been there).

Where are you going, and how are you going to get there?

I’m here to help you pick yourself up, grab your oars, and get back in that boat.

How has life derailed you? Where did you expect to be and what did you expect to be doing by now? Join us in the Every Day Incredible Ladies facebook group to discuss!

 

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